Today I was better
Than the version of myself yesterday,
Dreading every word which reeked of imperfection.
I am better now.
Than the bitter stench of self-judgement
From my own swollen lips –
My swollen hips tell me so
I worked hard for these
and I am better now.
In the burn I brought upon myself – I am successful
I am the being that bodies desire,
That mouths aspire to acquire
– I am better.
Superior to myself,
In so many ways,
I am satisfied
I am secure.
I am searching
for the reason why scrutiny is my solution
I recommend recovery in aesthetic creation.
I prescribe the production of pretty verses,
To nurse neurotic thoughts.
under the arches of rhymes.
I am better than I use to be at writing those.
I sing with the pride
And the tenacity
Of a lover.
I suppose that disappointment will drive
Into my removal bin of regrets nonetheless
if I cannot do better
Than to absorb all of myself into ink,
by the time this receipt roll is out of space.
Till paper prints have bore greater marvels than
Ineffective note to self anyway.
– I will be better tomorrow